Reflection

      The beginning of a new year means time for reflection. The first thing I thought of tonight was smoking. It's been four years since I've had a cigarette! People used to call me "the chimney". At fourteen I  smoked my first cigarette. By fifteen I was smoking a pack a day. Sometimes when I went out, I'd smoke a pack in a few hours. Fifteen years later, I finally quit. I still can't believe it sometimes. It was such a huge part of my life for so long, it is still weird to me that I don't do it anymore. Now every time I finish a run, I am so thankful that I made the choice to be healthy for myself, and my child. I've watched so many of my friends quit as well, and it makes me so proud of them, because I know how difficult it is. I just hope that those of you who are still smoking decide to quit soon. Even if you try and fail, it's a step in the right direction. Just keep trying!
      I decided today that my resolution is to remind myself every day that life is what we make it. I think sometimes I get caught up in the little things that bother me. Or I find myself complaining about something that I could change if I wanted to. Making changes in life is difficult, but anything worth doing usually is. A few years ago I decided I didn't like my job anymore, so I changed it. I decided I didn't like my body anymore, so I lost weight. (Well, that's a work in progress) I decided I didn't like what smoking was doing to me, so I quit. Those are some bigger examples, but there are small things too. Every day I have a choice. I get to choose my attitude, who I'm friends with, whether I work out, what to eat, etc. This year I am choosing to focus on remembering that I can change the things I don't like. Then I can spend less time, and energy, complaining about them.
       The last year has been equally tragic and tremendous. I guess if I had to pin point what I've learned, it's that nothing is as it seems. I also learned that the only person I need to rely on, is me. I can take anything life throws at me, and come out the other side a better person. I think reflection is good. Admitting your mistakes, and finding things to improve is healthy. The key is to keep yourself moving forward, and always have a plan. My mottos in life are, "Better safe than sorry" and "hope for the best, plan for the worst". That could be why I have an emergency zombie apocalypse bag in the closet. That, and too many episodes of The Walking Dead. The point is, I'm ready for the next year, and all of it's possibilities.