Last Resort

I've mentioned a few times that I tend to be a glass half empty kind of girl. I always look for the worst case scenario in any situation. I think the reason I am this way is because my life has been so perfect. I'm not bragging, just stating facts. I have an amazing life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I guess the point is, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mean surely no one can be this lucky. When John and I started trying to have a baby I finally hit a snag. I found out I have Endometriosis, and two blood clotting disorders called Factor V Leiden and MTHFR. Lucky for us we were still able to get pregnant. Back to my perfect life right? Then I had a miscarriage and I heard the thump of that shoe dropping loud and clear. After getting pregnant the second time I was very nervous.  I lived in fear for the first 12 weeks. Then the clouds lifted and the next 8 months were the most wonderful of my life to date. I've had a blissful pregnancy. I've taken care of myself, taken all the necessary classes, read every book, prepared the nursery, etc. Most importantly I prepared myself mentally and physically for a drug free, natural delivery, while also educating myself on all other possible outcomes. (worst case scenarios)  However, I think for the first time, I really believed the glass was half full. I really thought everything would just go my way because I had this pregnancy thing down.  I was great at it! And then I went to the doctor today and found out that my body is no longer cooperating. It is failing to do what it needs to in a timely manner. Therefore, they will be inducing me. Because thanks to modern medicine, we now have ways to artificially start labor when our doctors decide we've waited long enough for our bodies to do what they were made for. Do I sound pissed? Because I am. I am angry that my body has failed me. I am angry with my doctors for acting like it's no big deal, when it is. I am angry at the people who will say "I told you so". I am angry that I am being forced to do something I am completely against. I guess I don't need to tell you I cried like a baby in the doctor's office. And then when I called John. And then again when I got home. I am trying to look on the bright side. Which is obviously Cole.  I mean of course I am still thrilled to be having a baby. I've never been happier. I know that no matter what I will be so in love with this little boy that how he got here will not matter. But, as a last ditch effort I am trying to talk him out of my uterus. So far it hasn't worked. I've decided it is made of memory foam, and he wants to stay forever.