Rock A Bye Baby

I have a theory. Bad things don't happen to people because they are "good" or "bad".  Bad things happen to stupid people. Careless people who leap before looking. The ones that don't plan for every eventuality. This is why I am careful. Why I plan ahead. Why I weigh the consequences before making a decision. Tonight I was stupid. I didn't think. I wasn't careful. I was changing Cole's diaper and talking to John on my cell. I noticed something white in his poo, so I turned to look at his diaper under the light next to me. Three seconds. That's how long it took for him to fall. When I heard the smacking sound, I turned and he was on his back right next to me. Screaming. I can't even explain in words the horrible feeling of seeing your baby that upset and not knowing what exactly happened. Needless to say, I immediately called the pediatrician. I'm pretty sure he just got the wind knocked out of him. I have woken him twice since he fell asleep and he seems fine. He was acting completely normal all night. However, that doesn't change the fact that I am an idiot, and I feel like the worst mother ever. He could have broken his neck. I know accidents happen, but this one was my fault, and that is unacceptable. Am I being overly dramatic about it? Probably. Everyone will say, it was an accident, it happens, I once dropped a baby on it's head, yada, yada. That doesn't matter to me. This is my child. Possibly the only one I will have. So yeah, I'm over reacting, because I hate stupid people, and tonight I was one of them.