Rock A Bye Baby

I have a theory. Bad things don't happen to people because they are "good" or "bad".  Bad things happen to stupid people. Careless people who leap before looking. The ones that don't plan for every eventuality. This is why I am careful. Why I plan ahead. Why I weigh the consequences before making a decision. Tonight I was stupid. I didn't think. I wasn't careful. I was changing Cole's diaper and talking to John on my cell. I noticed something white in his poo, so I turned to look at his diaper under the light next to me. Three seconds. That's how long it took for him to fall. When I heard the smacking sound, I turned and he was on his back right next to me. Screaming. I can't even explain in words the horrible feeling of seeing your baby that upset and not knowing what exactly happened. Needless to say, I immediately called the pediatrician. I'm pretty sure he just got the wind knocked out of him. I have woken him twice since he fell asleep and he seems fine. He was acting completely normal all night. However, that doesn't change the fact that I am an idiot, and I feel like the worst mother ever. He could have broken his neck. I know accidents happen, but this one was my fault, and that is unacceptable. Am I being overly dramatic about it? Probably. Everyone will say, it was an accident, it happens, I once dropped a baby on it's head, yada, yada. That doesn't matter to me. This is my child. Possibly the only one I will have. So yeah, I'm over reacting, because I hate stupid people, and tonight I was one of them.

My Prerogative

The next person that asks me when I'm going to have another baby is going to get punched in the face. Why do people assume that just because you have one child, you automatically want another? Is there a law against only having one child? My son is seven months old. SEVEN! He hasn't even been here for as long as I carried him. Is it so crazy that someone would want to just enjoy their new baby? Take time to adjust to life as a family? It just amazes me that even when I clearly tell people that, no, I am not going to be popping out another human any time soon, they STILL KEEP ASKING! My favorite is, "well, when Cole has a little sister...". First of all, dropping it in our conversation as if it's a done deal just makes you sound stupid. Fun fact, there is only a 50/50 chance that Cole will have a little sister. STOP JINXING ME! I am not saying that I don't want another baby, MAYBE, POSSIBLY, SOMEDAY. And by someday, I mean at least a year from now! Really, I haven't decided. There are many contributing factors to my decision. Such as my age, my two blood clotting disorders, injections, money, etc , etc. The point is, having a child is a BIG decision that should not be rushed into. It's also a personal decision. So, I will be taking my sweet time, enjoying my son and discussing the possibility of another baby, with my husband, who actually gets a vote.