I Will Survive

Today would have been my due date had I not lost the baby in July. I got a little upset this morning, but I am so thankful to be pregnant again. I know this day would be a lot harder if I weren't. Having a miscarriage was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The surgery just made it worse. You don't really prepare yourself for something like that. I don't think anyone really thinks it will happen to them. I also never thought getting pregnant would be hard. When something like this happens you realize how precious life is, and what a miracle it really is that any of us are here. There are SO many little things that have to be just exactly right. It seems so easy,  women get pregnant every day. I didn't realize what a roller coaster ride having a baby would be. I wasn't prepared for this journey. I feel like I've come a long way, but I don't think you can ever fully heal from this. I do know what I learned from it. I learned that no matter your religious beliefs, creating life is a privilege women should be extremely grateful for. I also learned that my husband is the most wonderful, caring and supportive person. I can't even explain all the ways he has healed me and made me a better person. Finally, I learned that I have the best family and friends anyone could ever have. They have been better therapists than money could ever buy. I can't imagine where I would be with out them. I know I'm not alone. I know there are millions of women out there that have dealt with this. My story is not rare or more heartbreaking. But these people in my life made it OK to be sad and feel sorry for myself.  And then they gave me the determination to stand up, dust myself off, and try again. And that, is why I love them.