Firework

And by Firework, I mean explosion, of the poop variety. So Cole has been eating real foods and is currently trying out apples. As we all know apples are great for moving the bowels. Last night John took the baby to change his diaper while I got in the shower.  I'm lathering away when suddenly he comes bursting in holding Cole out in front of him naked (except for his little socks) and says, "Let us in!" He then proceeded to enter the shower where I discovered my baby's back was covered in poo up to his arm pits.  I sprayed him down with the shower, and soaked John in the process. All in all I'd say it was an effective means of clean up.  I must admit that after they left I had a nice laugh. I love that Cole saves all of these lovely poops and pee sprays for his daddy. It almost makes up for me having to wake up with him every night. :)

Workin 9 to 5

So here's an update. I am now teaching 6th grade Language Arts, which I'm super excited about! Cole is a giant! He's like 16 lbs, which is crazy. His current hobbies include eating, farting, laughing and babbling. He goes for his 4 month appointment in a few weeks. I can't believe how quickly he's growing. I'm getting more sleep these days, and breastfeeding has gotten easier. I can't wait to quit pumping. It's a real pain at work. I'm very excited for Halloween, Cole is going to be a Sumo wrestler. :) Also, my cousin is getting married in a few weeks! WOOP WOOP! ;)

Alive

I'm still alive! Just super busy. This whole working mom thing bites. I can't even imagine being a single working mom. Mad props to them. Luckily I am loving my new job and that has made things much easier. 
Another exciting development, Cole seems to be moving toward four hours between feedings instead of three. Which means more sleep! Every day I feel a little more sane. :)

Time After Time

I'm back! I've discovered that being a working mom leaves very little time for blogging. So, where to start? I started my new middle school position teaching sixth grade science and I absolutely love it! It is so nice not to be micro managed and to be treated like a professional.
Cole is growing so fast! He has gained about five pounds!! Today he took his first trip to the mall and target. He did very well. I can't believe he is almost two months old! Well off to bed, early as usual. :(

Lullaby

I want to scream. I am so freaking sick of not sleeping. Just once I would like to sleep longer than three hours. So far tonight I have slept for forty five minutes. I really don't know why I bother. I should just stay awake. I have to go back to work in two days. I'll probably end up collapsing. Recently I find myself wanting to physically harm my husband. Like when it's four a.m. and I am awake for the twentieth time, I look at him next to me snoring away while the baby rips my nipples apart, and I want to punch him in the face.  I haven't slept more than three hours straight in a month. He gets seven to eight hours every night.  Starting sunday that will be changing. I am going to pump like a crazy person so that he will have plenty of bottles. Then finally I can be the one to roll over and go back to sleep.

Too Tired To Think Of A Clever Song Title

I miss sleep. I really, really do. I'm hoping some day soon John will have a day off and I will get to sleep for an entire night. At least one full night of sleep before I go back to work would be amazing. How do people do this with more than one kid?! The thought of that just hurts my brain. I wouldn't say I'm "non functioning" at this point, but I would say I'm not a happy camper. I am definitely missing the freedom to just go places.  I know it will get better when he is old enough to be out and about. But right now, it sucks. Of course I wouldn't trade it for anything, because I finally have everything I always wanted. But I decided that since I did minimal complaining during my pregnancy, it is ok for me to complain a little now. The other major problem I'm having is breastfeeding. It's painful and a giant pain in the ass. If I'm not nursing, I'm pumping. It's like, my entire world revolves around my boobs right now. I understand the importance of breastfeeding and fully support it. However, I am extremely jealous of mothers who just use formula. I mean really, it would take a huge burden off of my shoulders. For instance, right now the baby is sleeping. So after I finish this I need to pump. When what I really want to do is just go to sleep, but I can't. Then as soon as I try to put him in his bassinet he'll be hungry and I'll have to nurse him. Even if I give him bottled breast milk in the middle of the night I still have to pump. I can't just wake up John and say, "Feed him" and go back to sleep. In conclusion, it sucks and I hate it. So off I go to be milked.

Old McDonald Had A Farm

I feel like a cow. Like I'm pretty much just a feeding machine at this point. I'm not sure what I thought breastfeeding would feel like. Maybe I just assumed it would be less time consuming. I was definitely wrong about that. I think I now spend like half the day with my boobs hanging out. Either I am nursing Cole or pumping. Sometimes I think, surely he can't be hungry again! Oh, but he is. Also, this whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" nonsense does not work. How can I sleep in the middle of the day when I have things to do and the phone never stops ringing? Of course John helps as much as he can. He gets up early and lets me sleep for an hour or so before he leaves for work. Unfortunately, an hour or two of sleep at a time just doesn't cut it. I'm hoping Cole will be a quick learner and start sleeping through the night like, possibly next week. A girl can dream right?

The Story Of Us

So here's how it all went down. On Friday, July 8th, my OB told me I was only 1cm dilated and would have to be induced. I went in to the hospital on Sunday night to start a cervix softener called Cervidil. Of course I was very upset about this because I really wanted a natural birth without all of these medical interventions.  Turns out by the time I was admitted and hooked up to an iv I was already 4 centimeters dilated! My nurse called the doctor and we decided not to use the Cervidil and a few hours later the doctor came in and broke my water. Sadly, this didn't do too much. So around 6:30 am on Monday they started me on the dreaded Pitocin drip. The nurse was very sweet and she knew how much I did not want Pitocin at all. So she put me on the lowest dosage and that was all it took. Within five minutes I was contracting regularly. Unfortunately because my water had been broken and his head was not up against the cervix yet I had to lay in bed and I was not able to move very much. They didn't want the chord to prolapse. Finally, a few hours and about 9,000 contractions later, I was able to get on the ball and move around. Here's the thing, when your sciatic nerve is going nuts and your back is on fire, the ball doesn't help! Because of all the monitors on me I couldn't do much else. When I finally started pushing I got to lay on my side which was wonderful! It sounds weird, but it took pressure off of my back and really helped me get things moving. Once his head moved down they had me flip onto my back. That sucked. At this point though I was in so much pain it didn't really matter. I was on another plane, just focusing on getting him out. The pain is indescribable. It was beyond anything I had imagined and it took every ounce of my energy and focus. Honestly, I don't know how much more I could have taken. I pushed for less than an hour and my whole labor was about 7 hrs. That is nothing compared to most. So I guess as much as I hated being induced, it was really for the best because I got to have a faster labor. Who knows how long it would have taken otherwise. I'm still in shock that it is all over. I still can't believe that I did it. I stuck to my guns and fought for what I wanted out of this experience. I feel the greatest sense of accomplishment and pride. It is amazing to me what you can do if you really put your mind to it. I am just so thankful that I had my husband, mom and grandma there with me. They were the BEST coaches and I am so lucky to have them. And now I'm finally a mom. I find myself spending most of my time staring at Cole in awe. John and I keep discussing how amazing he is and how we just can't believe we made a human! We are just so excited for this adventure!

Last Resort

I've mentioned a few times that I tend to be a glass half empty kind of girl. I always look for the worst case scenario in any situation. I think the reason I am this way is because my life has been so perfect. I'm not bragging, just stating facts. I have an amazing life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I guess the point is, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mean surely no one can be this lucky. When John and I started trying to have a baby I finally hit a snag. I found out I have Endometriosis, and two blood clotting disorders called Factor V Leiden and MTHFR. Lucky for us we were still able to get pregnant. Back to my perfect life right? Then I had a miscarriage and I heard the thump of that shoe dropping loud and clear. After getting pregnant the second time I was very nervous.  I lived in fear for the first 12 weeks. Then the clouds lifted and the next 8 months were the most wonderful of my life to date. I've had a blissful pregnancy. I've taken care of myself, taken all the necessary classes, read every book, prepared the nursery, etc. Most importantly I prepared myself mentally and physically for a drug free, natural delivery, while also educating myself on all other possible outcomes. (worst case scenarios)  However, I think for the first time, I really believed the glass was half full. I really thought everything would just go my way because I had this pregnancy thing down.  I was great at it! And then I went to the doctor today and found out that my body is no longer cooperating. It is failing to do what it needs to in a timely manner. Therefore, they will be inducing me. Because thanks to modern medicine, we now have ways to artificially start labor when our doctors decide we've waited long enough for our bodies to do what they were made for. Do I sound pissed? Because I am. I am angry that my body has failed me. I am angry with my doctors for acting like it's no big deal, when it is. I am angry at the people who will say "I told you so". I am angry that I am being forced to do something I am completely against. I guess I don't need to tell you I cried like a baby in the doctor's office. And then when I called John. And then again when I got home. I am trying to look on the bright side. Which is obviously Cole.  I mean of course I am still thrilled to be having a baby. I've never been happier. I know that no matter what I will be so in love with this little boy that how he got here will not matter. But, as a last ditch effort I am trying to talk him out of my uterus. So far it hasn't worked. I've decided it is made of memory foam, and he wants to stay forever.

Drop It Low

So according to my family and friends, I have "dropped". WHich is supposed to be a good sign. I don't see much of a difference because I see myself every day, so I'll take their word for it. I do know that there is an eight pound bowling ball resting on my pelvic bone. It's super. Tomorrow is my official due date! I'm pretty sure this little guy is gonna be fashionably late. I've had lots of Braxton Hicks, which hurt now, so maybe they are the real thing? No clue.  Last time I was checked I was dilated 1 cm. So, we are just waiting. The anticipation may drive me batty.

We Are Family

This whole baby thing has given me a new appreciation for my parents. Not just because they gave me life, which is awesome,but because of when they gave me life. I mean, they were 18 and 22! That is INSANE to me! Here I am almost 33, and the thought that I am about to have a tiny human to take care of just blows my mind! I can't even imagine being as young as they were and dealing with a baby!! I have always known that they have made HUGE sacrifices for me over the years, but I don't think I really appreciated how absolutely overwhelmed and lost they must have been. And yet, even now, 33 years later, they still make it look so easy! (Of course, some props must be given to my fabulous grandmother, because with out her I'm sure things would have been MUCH worse)   Maybe it's harder when you're older and used to being just a couple. Perhaps I should have gotten an earlier start, but when I think about me at 18 with a kid, I get chills. I know I've done everything at the right time, in the right order. So no matter what I am happy with my choices. I just hope someday my kid will understand and love me the way I do my parents. :)

It's My Life

So I just realized that I am officially "that girl". The one who talks about baby stuff non stop. I just had a phone conversation with one of my best friends and afterwards it dawned on me that 80% of the conversation was baby related. We talked about my pregnancy, other people's labors, etc. Don't get me wrong, we also discussed thrilling things like new restaurants we like. When did I get so boring?! I mean obviously I have an excuse for having no life, but I HATE feeling like the conversation is mostly about me, or a bunch of stuff no one wants to hear about! Of course my friend would never say that because she loves me and is generally interested in my daily life. However, I am still annoyed with myself. Also I've begun to worry that I will become "that other girl". The one who, after she has a baby, expects everyone to adore said baby and want to hear all about it. You know the girl that will go to a party and just talk to people about her baby and show pictures and stuff. I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT GIRL!  So I am counting on my friends and family to keep me in line. Also, they will need to take me out and give me Grey Goose so pre-baby Chrissy can come out to play. :)

Bass Down Low

So the OB says nothing is happening yet. Bummer. Now I'm starting to feel like I am ready to get this party started!  Went to the hematologist today and apparently my platelet count has dropped. Not sure what that means, but now I have to go back next week to have my finger pricked again. I feel like a giant pin cushion! These Heprin injections twice a day are a bitch.  I'm all bruised and sore and crap. So over it! Other than that and sciatica, I'm perfectly fine. :) Would love some crazy nesting to kick in. My house is a mess. Again.

Silent Night

37 weeks!! I am officially full term! Woo hoo!
SO, can someone please explain to me why my neighbors think it's ok to let their dog out at 2:30 am so he can sit in the backyard and bark?!?! THEN, just when I thought it was over, they let him back out around 4 am!! I may have to physically harm these people. It's bad enough I have to pee every hour, I don't need more reasons to wake up in the middle of the night. UGH!!

Tik Tok

 Let's talk about how no one warns you that having your cervix checked IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! Not like pain really, just, not cool. Thanks for the warning ladies! Anyhoo, I am happy to report that I am 36 weeks and nothing is happening. Meaning all is as it should be. :)  I am SUPER excited that school is out, however now I am just waiting around. Everything is washed, cleaned, organized, etc. So I find myself looking for things to do.  Job hunting is on the top of my list right now. There are a few openings I'm excited about. I'm hoping to go on some interviews next week! Today I am going to meet our pediatrician. After that, I seriously have like nothing baby related left. I am hoping this whole nesting thing kicks in and I'll start like scrubbing the baseboards and stuff. At least it will pass the time...

Walkin On Sunshine

So update. I didn't go to the hospital and everything is back to normal. Other than the fact that I am now best friends with Tums.  I've started carrying a bottle in my purse. John's getting really sick of listening to me burp. On a happy note, I've got a three day weekend coming up and only 5 days of work left! SO excited to be able to be home and clean my house and/or float in my mom's pool.  It's getting quite hot out and I may just move in to her pool permanently. Tomorrow we have our end of the year field trip at a park and John is chaperoning with me. The kids are super excited. I'm not really looking forward to hiking through the woods in the heat. I'm thinking John should be the hiking leader, and I might accidentally forget something and send them on ahead and then forget to "catch up" with them. :)

Throw It Up

I learned something new today. Acid reflux can actually make you throw up the entire contents of your stomach. Needless to say, my day did not start out well. I called the doctor and spent the day drinking fluids and feeling nauseous. Then I started having Braxton Hicks contractions a lot closer together than normal. So I called the doctor again. Poor lady probably thinks I'm nuts. Anyhoo, she sent me to bed for the day and told me to drink lots of water. This was supposed to make them subside. I have napped off and on all day and drunk about a gallon of water. Guess what, I still have them. So now we're trying to decide if I should call her again. She said earlier if they didn't subside to come to the hospital. I reeeeaaally don't want to do that. :(

Footloose

I am being attacked from the inside! This little guy is kicking up a storm and it's awesome! The best part is it's happening all throughout the day now. I love poking him back and then he kicks harder. It is so cool! I will be 34 weeks on Sunday. I can't believe how close I am to being done! I still don't think I have fully grasped the fact that he has to come out at some point. As much as I want him here, the reality of it is just surreal. Meanwhile, John is still stuck on putting surround sound in the nursery. I came home the other day to find that he had put the cd changer and speakers under the crib. Mozart was playing when I walked in. I quickly pointed out that, while I appreciate the thought, I really didn't want to crawl under the crib every time I need to change a cd. He cracks me up.

Parents Just Don't Understand

I am going to write a book about parenting that has like tips and suggestions. Here is a top ten list to get me started.

1. Yes, your child needs to be at school every day unless they are puking or have a fever.
2. Your child should have a bed time. An early bedtime. Like before 9:00!
3. Adult television shows are inappropriate for children.
4. There are ratings on video games for a reason.
5. There are ratings on movies for a reason.
6. When you smoke in your house and/or car, not only do your child and all of his/her belongings reek of smoke, but you are also killing them!
7. Homework is important and needs to be completed every night. After school sports are not an excuse for incomplete homework.
8. It is YOUR responsibility to make sure your child makes it to school on time.
9. Children learn to take responsibility for their actions when they see their parents do the same.
10. Teachers are not paid to be your babysitter, personal assistant, therapist and/or friend.

I could make this a top 20 or 30 list easily, but I'll save it for the book. I'm thinking the title should be something like: Parenting for Dummies...

Baby I Love Your Way

I have amazing friends and the best mom ever! Yesterday was my baby shower and I can't even believe how beautiful it was! The theme was Bedtime Stories, because I LOVE to read. (www.readthisnotthatguide.blogspot.com) Not only did they pick the perfect theme, but they also had all the foods I've been craving! There was a taco bar, Moe's queso dip, spinach & artichoke dip, ice cream with tons of toppings, brownies AND cake! Cole now has a TON of books in his library, which I am super excited to read to him. All of my family and friends came and brought us wonderful gifts. :) I just can't believe I had a BABY shower, like, for a BABY! Crazy! Now I am in full on clean and organize mode! We still have a lot of things to buy and borrow though. I am just trying to do a little every day while I still have the energy. :) I've also started getting things wrapped up at work. The end of the school year is always so crazy and it goes super fast. I just want to have nothing to worry about in June so I can relax and float in mom's pool! :) Here are some pics from the shower!

Your Cheatin' Heart

I'm feeling like a cheater. Tonight we did our 3D ultrasound and got to see our cute little man! It was so cool and I absolutely love all of the pictures. However, I feel like I have cheated somehow by seeing him ahead of time. Does this mean I will be less excited when he actually gets here? I mean obviously I'll still be elated to actually hold him, but will I feel let down because I already know what he looks like? I know the 3D pictures are not exact, but they're pretty darn clear.  Either way I am really glad we did it. Worth every penny. John and I just keep staring at the pictures. We watched the DVD once already. I can't wait to show it at my baby shower. :)Look at my super cute, chubby cheeked boy!

Heads Up

Apparently my kid has a giant head. Ok it's not like, huge, just big. The doctor says it's perfectly normal. Unfortunately, now all I can think about is the fact that his big head has to come out at some point. The good news is he's doing just fine. We are super excited to get our 4D ultrasound done tomorrow! I'm hoping to have the DVD to play at my baby shower on Saturday. Speaking of which, holy crap, I can't believe my baby shower is on Saturday! I am SO excited!
Here's a picture of my big headed kid :)

Doctor, Doctor

Today I called my hematologist and left a message describing the pain I was having in my head. The nurse called back and told me to go to the ER and get a CAT scan. So I left work early and headed to the hospital. John met me there and luckily the ER was empty. So after my physical exam the doctor called my hematologist and they decided that I don't have a blood clot and didn't need a CAT scan.  She said I have some type of "trigger points" on my head which are nerve clusters that become inflamed and sensitive or some such nonsense. Apparently a clot or bleed would cause other more serious symptoms like slurred speech, blurry vision, etc. Translation, "We have no clue what's up with your head, but it's not a blood clot".  So about an hour and a half later I left the hospital with my instructions to, wait for it, take some Tylenol as needed. The paperwork I received says: Headache! Yep, I'm the douche bag who went to the ER and came out with the diagnosis of headache. Lovely. They did offer to give me a numbing shot in my scalp to relieve the pain. I declined and decided to just wait it out. And possibly take some Tylenol.

Down With The Sickness

People think I'm a hypochondriac. They might be right. However, I think it's more my natural pessimism which causes me to find the worst case scenario in any situation. Here's an example. Today I started to get a stabbing pain in one small spot on my head. It will hurt for about 15-30 seconds and then go away only to return a few minutes later. When I touch the spot it feels tender, like a bruise. I also think it may be puffy feeling, like a little swollen. Obviously I've concluded this is either a blood clot or a tumor symptom. Nothing else makes sense to me. John however, thinks I am crazy and says, "stop touching it" and "it's nothing, you'll be fine".  This is not very reassuring.  If it still hurts tomorrow, I am definitely calling the doctor.  Unfortunately, I would probably need a CAT scan to really see if anything is wrong. Which I don't think is possible being pregnant. Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure the pregnancy is making me even more paranoid that something is wrong because now it's not just me I'm worried about, it's him too! I'm pretty sure that will never change though.  I might be gray in about 2 years with all this worrying. I can't beleieve my blood pressure is so good!

It's My Party

Today my friend and I had a joint baby shower at work! Our team did such a fabulous job on it. There were cakes for both of us and cute decorations. It was so surreal to actually be opening gifts for Cole! I just can't believe how close we are getting to him actually being here! I know that the next two months are going to be very busy and he will be here before we know it. I am trying to just take time every day to appreciate being pregnant. I really need to start taking more belly pictures. John said he would be my photographer and do a little photo shoot. :) Anyway, here are some pictures from today!

Hallelujah

So the third trimester is underway. I've been feeling a little more tired this week. I also think the "nesting" thing may be kicking in. I cleaned and organized a bunch of cabinets and drawers today. Got rid of a ton of junk. It is amazing the things I have kept for no apparent reason. I had my glucose screening on Friday. So I'm crossing my fingers that I don't get any bad news. I'm a little scared because I really enjoyed the fruit punch flavored stuff I had to drink! I mean, it was like Hawaiian Punch! Maybe I've eaten soooo much sugar that I'm immune to it now. :) Yeah, probably not.
29 weeks and counting!

Teeth

I hate my teeth. I mean I literally loathe them. They were given to me by my wonderful parents, who are very happy to no longer be paying for their repair and upkeep. My teeth have been a problem my entire life. Think of something you can have done to your teeth, and I've had it done. Most recently one of my crowns came off for the third time. Unfortunately, we didn't have the money to get it fixed. Then part of the crown's enamel came off. I've been wearing it during the day and taking it out at night, so as not to choke on it.  I called today to schedule an appointment for a new one. For the low low price of $386. Oh joy. The receptionist pretty much yelled at me and told me I had to come in immediately because it could be infected. So now I feel like a horrible person for possibly putting my baby in danger so I could save money.  My appointment is tomorrow and I'm sure I'll get yelled at some more by the actual dentist. So that should be fun. In the meantime I'm gonna go brush, waterpik and swish with Listerine like a crazy person.

On The Road Again

So tomorrow night we are leaving for a weekend trip to Georgia! I am very excited about this trip for some reason. If you've read my blog about our Spring Break trip, you know that I prefer short trips. This one will only be three nights, which is perfect. Also, we are traveling with my parents which is always super fun! The part that may be a little sad, is that I am actually looking forward to staying in hotels and having a free breakfast. I mean, it's the BEST part of the whole hotel experience! This is also my first time being an "out of town guest" at a wedding! I'm not sure why that's exciting, but it is. Then there's the fact that it's a wedding! I love weddings! Even though I can't take part in the drinking, I can still have the food! OH, and cake! Ok, I think Cole is excited now as well. Luckily this trip will not involve being in the middle of nowhere with a shady cell signal. It's pretty pathetic, but I am kind of addicted to Facebook. :)

Our House

I have a small addiction to HGTV. It's pretty much my "go to" channel. I don't think I can fall asleep without it either. I mean, I haven't tried in a long time so I'm not positive, but I'd probably be up all night if I did. The best part is it doesn't even matter what show is on, because I love them all. How could you not?! John, on the other hand, loathes HGTV. It's his least favorite. He complains constantly when it's on. I have to wait until he falls asleep so I can change the channel. The funny thing about his hatred is that he is usually the one doing all the DIY projects! Of course, he doesn't think he needs any help or instruction. He just jumps right in. For the record there have been many occasions where I have given input on one of his projects and directly quoted HGTV. Sometimes I just stand over him and say, "That's not how they do it on HGTV."  He really hates that. Which is why it's funny. I feel like if he actually watched he could learn so many useful skills and be even handier around the house! Sometimes he likes to give his opinion on decorating or choosing colors. This is where I put my foot down. When he argues with me about my choices I say, "I'm pretty sure I'm much more qualified to be the designer, what with all the HGTV I watch." I tend to win this argument. Luckily he has a pretty short attention span when it comes to these things.

Twist and Shout

Let me walk you through my morning. After waking at least four times to use the bathroom last night, I was woken up thirty minutes before my alarm by a raging storm. Here's how it went down.
Me: "Baaaaabe!" (shaking John)
John: "Huh? What?"(with his eyes still closed)
Me: "Is that a tornado? Do you hear a tornado?!" (while frantically trying to turn on Bay News 9)
John: "No, it's just rain." (Rolling over)

At this point you may be wondering why I would be freaking out about tornadoes. Long story short, about two years ago John and I actually slept through a tornado as it ripped through our neighborhood. It woke us up long enough for me to turn on the TV, only to have the power go out. We then promptly went back to sleep. Let's just say our neighbors had a good laugh about it the next morning when we were clueless as to why there was debris everywhere.
Anyhoo, fast forward to this morning. This time I actually did get to watch the news, and then the power went out. So we had to get ready for work by candlelight. Which is super fun. Especially when you have to inject yourself.
I did learn a few things from this experience. First of all, we have no flashlights or battery powered radios. How is that even possible when we are both Floridians and should know better?  Secondly, I am so glad I didn't have to live before electricity was invented. Those people must have had horrible eyesight! Finally, pregnancy hormones will cause you to cry when you have to leave and drive to work in a mini hurricane.

Le Freak

Here's the thing. Sometimes, I forget I'm pregnant. Like I'll be doing something around the house and I'll look down and go DAMN, I'm totally pregnant! It's weird, and probably not normal. Even when Cole is kicking the crap out of me, I don't really think about it. Now that I am quickly approaching the third trimester I think it may be hitting me that there is actually a tiny human in there! His room is really looking like a nursery now, which is also a reminder of how real this is all becoming. I'm pretty sure that no matter how prepared and excited you are, it is still ok to freak out when it really hits home that you are HAVING A FREAKING BABY! LIKE A HUMAN LIFE THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OK, much better. That's all for now. Although there's a good chance it may happen again before this is all over. :)

Everybody Hurts

Sooooo, today I went to the hematologist for a check up. I have to go to her for the previously mentioned injections I have to do for my blood clotting disorder. So when I do these injections I sometimes get bruises and knots under my skin. Recently the knots have begun to hurt. So I tell the doctor this and she says the only thing I can really do is put some moist heat on them. So I think, no biggie, they don't hurt that bad or often. HA! You know when your car makes a noise and you take it in and of course it won't make the noise? Then as soon as you leave it starts making the noise? Well after I got home tonight, these knots started hurting with a vengeance. Of course. So I put a warm compress on it for a while. Not helping. So now I have to try to sleep, on my side, while not irritating the knots, located on both of my sides. Should be fun.

Ghetto update: I was walking the dog at 10:00 tonight and the neighbors kids are....wait for it...IN THE POOL! There are no words.

In the Ghetto

I live in the ghetto. Well, not really, but it feels that way sometimes. The problem is there are too many renters. I'm not saying that ALL renters are bad. But these people just don't care about taking care of their yards, houses or kids. The yards have like 5 foot tall weeds. There are like 7 cars in the driveway and they are constantly being worked on.  Their dogs run around without leashes.  I walk my dog at night and I am so sick of seeing their children outside at 10:30 at night. I mean really?! Then these same people will blame their kid's teachers when they don't do well in school. I almost went and said something the other night. Then I remembered that I'm a crazy pregnant lady and I should probably not be outside at night in my jammies yelling at people. :)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Cole is kicking me right now. Like hard. I'm not quite used to this yet. I've been feeling him for a while, but it has gotten more predominate very suddenly. I am 25 weeks on Sunday and things are really getting "real" at this point. Like I may start freaking out if the room doesn't get finished soon. John thinks we have tons of time. Clearly he does not realize how quickly the time will go! So anyway, the new kicks are very exciting, and rather weird at the same time. It's like I'll forget for a minute that there's a tiny human in there and then WHAM he makes sure I remember. It's pretty cool :)
PS- Did I mention how HAPPY I am to be home and in my own bed again? I love my bed :)

I'm Coming Home

Having a good time on vacation but I've realized that I'm more of a "weekend vacay " kinda girl. I like taking trips, but I find I'm kinda over it after a few days. We are heading home Thursday, but I wish we were leaving tomorrow.  I think when the trip takes up most of my vacation time it makes it feel like less of a vacation or something. I guess I would rather have more time at home. Especially now when all I can think about is getting the nursery ready. So next time I will know better and take a shorter trip.

Vacation

Oh friends. I know you're going to be excited. I can now blog from my phone! This is just perfect timing since I'm currently on vacation.  We are staying on the St. Johns river and are so excited to go to St. Augustine tomorrow! John has never been so that makes it even more fun. The house we rented is not too bad. Not to thrilled about the well water though. The best part is Fitz got to come with us ! So anyway I'll keep you updated on our fun trip.

Once Bitten Twice Shy

Vampires. I'm obsessed with them. I love books, tv shows and movies about vampires. Most people know this about me. Many of my friends also enjoy them. But lets be serious, I loved them even before it was "socially acceptable". Although I still get made fun of because I also read Young Adult books about vampires. John thinks it's hilarious. For the record though, about 6 years ago, he totally bought me all 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on dvd and watched them ALL with me. Which then prompted him to buy me all 5 seasons of Angel, which he also watched. He also loves True Blood and willingly watches the Twilight Saga movies. So there. I just can't get him to watch Vampire Diaries.  So what brought on this blog? I miss True Blood, and I decided to read Breaking Dawn again. Therefore, I have vampires on the brain. Also, I found some super cute onesies that Cole needs. They say "I crawl with vampires" and "I bite". :)

Break Stuff

"It's the hormones", is my default now. Such a great excuse! Before I was just a bitch, now it's not my fault! Ok, maybe I'm still just a bitch. But my latest rant is totally valid. So John and I are going on a trip to St. Augustine for 5 days over Spring Break. I am super excited because I've been wanting to go for a while. However, I am also super pissed and annoyed for the following reasons:
1. I have to do all the packing for both of us
2. I have to run around and gather all items (including shopping for things) that need to be packed.
3. I have to clean out the trunk so we can fit suitcases into it.
4. I have to find and coordinate people to watch our 3 animals while we're away.
5. I have to make sure the house is clean before we leave so people taking care of said animals are not shocked, appalled and afraid to return.
Did I mention that I also have a meeting tomorrow afternoon and an engagement dinner Wednesday night? And what is my NON PREGNANT husband doing you may ask? Oh he's going to a hockey game on Friday night and maybe, if I'm lucky, he'll put the suitcases in the trunk for me. Can someone please explain how this is fair?! This happens every time we go out of town. Why are men incapable of packing?! Well this time, I am playing the pregnant card. If he doesn't help, we aren't going!

Shot Through the Heart

Tonight we had a lovely evening at our friends' house eating and visiting. We got home around 10:30 and as I'm getting ready for bed I realize that I am an idiot. I was supposed to go to Publix after work today to pick up my prescription refill and I totally forgot. Which wouldn't be a big deal, except this is a prescription for injections that I have to do at the same time (8:00am) every morning to ensure that Cole & I don't get any blood clots. So of course now I'm freaking out about not getting my shot on time. John assures me that they open at 8 and I can simply be waiting at the door. Luckily we live close to Publix and I can rush home to do the injection. However, that also means that the shot will be about 10 minutes late. Even worse, I will have to be dressed and out the door by 7:50. ON A SATURDAY! Why am I such an idiot?

Sweet Emotion

Cupcakes are amazing. I especially love Publix cupcakes. However, I decided today to make my own. From scratch. So I went online and found recipes for cupcakes and frosting that looked pretty simple.  Let's just say I get an A for effort. The cupcakes are pretty good, just a little heavy for my taste. The frosting is definitely too thin and just OK. So it wasn't the stunning achievement I envisioned, but I will still be eating them all. As of right now, Cole is very serious about his cupcakes. And Cole gets what he wants. :) It has nothing whatsoever to do with me. Nope, not at all.

Mine do not look even remotely this good.

Blame It On The Alcohol

Grey Goose. It's my favorite vodka. As many of my friends will tell you, I'm not a huge drinker. Never have been. However, the last few years I have acquired a taste for vodka. As in, it's all I drink. Mostly mixed with OJ or Cranberry. Although I'm not opposed to mixing it with a Slurpee now and then. So this weekend I have been around quite a few people enjoying some drinks. I must say, I am missing my Grey Goose. As a matter of fact, I actually sniffed a friends drink just to smell the vodka. No really, I'm not kidding. On a normal basis I only drink like once a week, or every other week. But now I just WANT to drink, cause I know I can't. *sigh* Only eighteen more weeks! Oh, wait, I forgot about the breastfeeding. Son of a *&%$!

Chapel of Love

Today my cousin got engaged! This is super exciting not just because she's getting married, and that's wonderful, but also because it means I get to help plan a wedding!  So not only am I in full baby planning mode, I am now filled with wedding ideas! This is going to make concentrating on anything else very difficult.  I have typed up a list of everything that needs to get done before the baby comes. Which for some reason grows daily. Now I also have a wedding checklist. (I love lists!)  I just emailed my cousin with a few things to do to get us started. I hope she realizes what she's gotten herself into. ;)

PS- Here's one of my favorite wedding pics. I'm kinda partial to this guy :)

Video Killed The Radio Star

Let me vent for a minute about the ridiculousness of parents in our society.  Why exactly do parents think it's OK for their kids to spend hours playing computer and video games? These things are not teaching your child anything other than how to shoot someone and steal a car.  Do you know what elementary school age boys talk about any time they get the chance? Games. What games they have, the games they want, what level their on, how they beat it, the list goes on.  Our children do not have critical thinking or problem solving skills. Their grammar and spelling are atrocious.  However, they can tell you all of the cheat codes to their favorite games. Here's a tip, if your child tells you they have no homework, they're lying. Take the controllers away and give him/her a book!

True Colors

Today was fantastic! Not only did I have a great day with mom at the beach, but I also picked out all of the fabrics for Cole's room! I can not wait to start sewing and painting. One of my fabulous friends is making a quilt for me. I'm going to make pillows and some picture frames. It just feels so great to have a theme and colors chosen. There's still so much to do, but I feel like things are finally moving along. :)

Get Outta Your Mind

"What if there's a tornado and we don't get to him fast enough because we sleep through it? Like the roof gets ripped off. Shouldn't he be against a center wall?" This is the question I asked my husband today when discussing whether or not we had chosen the right room for Cole's nursery. I'm freaking out about him being in the room farthest from us. John calmly pointed out that he will be against a block wall, and that we have a ridiculously awesome video monitor that my parents got us. Also, his room is right next to the other room, and it will take the same amount of time to get there from our room. I'm not sure this line of thinking bodes well for my future as a parent. I'm already a pessimist and 'worst case scenario' professional. I can only imagine what new neurosis this little boy will bring.
PS- Here's a picture 21 weeks and counting!

The Boys Are Back In Town

"It's a boy!" Not what I was expecting folks, not at all. So after shedding a few tears (I have no control over my emotions), I have come to terms with John getting his way. As usual. The important thing is that our little guy has all the correct parts, in all the correct places! I felt much better once I saw all those fingers and toes. After the appointment we went straight to Babies R Us to add to our registry. While registering is super fun, it's also very overwhelming. I'm feeling a little unprepared right now since we have no boy name picked out and no nursery ideas. Luckily there is plenty of time!

I'm So Excited

I may not sleep tonight. I am so excited for my ultrasound tomorrow! I really can't believe I am already halfway through my pregnancy. It is just amazing to me how quickly it has gone. Mostly I'm realizing that finding out whether we are having a boy or girl kind of makes it more real. This is the point where we get to really start planning. Which, in case you don't know me, I live for.  I just know that once we are able to register and finish the nursery it will really start to sink in that this is happening. I've been pretty chill with the whole thing and haven't really allowed myself to buy things or plan too much ahead. Tomorrow it is on! After the doctor, we will be going straight to Babies R Us to finish up our registry. Sadly, before all this fun can begin,  I have to go to work and sit through a half day meeting analyzing data. Oh goody.

I Will Survive

Today would have been my due date had I not lost the baby in July. I got a little upset this morning, but I am so thankful to be pregnant again. I know this day would be a lot harder if I weren't. Having a miscarriage was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The surgery just made it worse. You don't really prepare yourself for something like that. I don't think anyone really thinks it will happen to them. I also never thought getting pregnant would be hard. When something like this happens you realize how precious life is, and what a miracle it really is that any of us are here. There are SO many little things that have to be just exactly right. It seems so easy,  women get pregnant every day. I didn't realize what a roller coaster ride having a baby would be. I wasn't prepared for this journey. I feel like I've come a long way, but I don't think you can ever fully heal from this. I do know what I learned from it. I learned that no matter your religious beliefs, creating life is a privilege women should be extremely grateful for. I also learned that my husband is the most wonderful, caring and supportive person. I can't even explain all the ways he has healed me and made me a better person. Finally, I learned that I have the best family and friends anyone could ever have. They have been better therapists than money could ever buy. I can't imagine where I would be with out them. I know I'm not alone. I know there are millions of women out there that have dealt with this. My story is not rare or more heartbreaking. But these people in my life made it OK to be sad and feel sorry for myself.  And then they gave me the determination to stand up, dust myself off, and try again. And that, is why I love them.

Dream On

I have been having some crazy dreams. Like nightmares and what not. Not cool. I must say I am not a fan. I don't mind the ones about babies though, those are fun. I am very excited that I have a busy weekend of fun planned. Tomorrow I am visiting my parents and doing a photo shoot for one of the cutest little boys I know. Then Sunday it's FAIR TIME! Most people who know me will understand why a day of cheerleading and funnel cake is thrilling to me. With all this excitement I may have forgotten to even think about getting my husband a Valentine's Day gift. I mean really, having me as his wife is enough of a gift. However, he may be expecting something more. We usually don't spend money on each other for Valentine's, because we're usually broke. So I need something quick and cheap. Maybe I'll bake him something? Or I could always just bring him a churro home from the fair....

Pop Goes The Weasel

Holy belly! It was pointed out to me today that my belly has grown. I guess I really don't notice as much since I see it every day. I seem to be busting out of ALL of my clothes though. Even the first maternity pants I bought no longer fit comfortably. The other day while driving home I actually had to pull my pants down half way because I couldn't breathe! True story. Luckily I had a sweater to cover myself with. So I bought a new pair of pants for work.(consignment) That means I now have ONE pair of works pants. Not good. Maternity clothes are WAY expensive. So I may have to start hounding people for hand me downs! (hint, hint) Anyway, I'll take some pics soon. The ones I have are not post worthy.

A Spoonful of Sugar

Top Ten Things That Annoy Me (not necessarily in this order)

1. Pasco County
2. Stupid People (most of which live in Pasco County)
3. Teachers who can't spell and/or use incorrect grammar.
4. People who insist on using big words incorrectly. (Buy a dictionary)
5. Red Lights
6. People who assume I know nothing about children just because I don't have one yet. (You're wrong)
7. People who think it's ok to rub someone's stomach just because they're pregnant. (It's not)
8. Laundry
9. Dirty dishes in the sink
10. The amount of money athletes and entertainers make. (RIDICULOUS!)

Top Ten Reasons To Be Happy
1. Being Alive
2. Being pregnant
3. My husband
4. The best parents ever
5. I have a job
6. I am healthy
7. I live in Florida
8. My dog
9. My cat
10. My friends

Lookout Weekend

Torture is not cool. Waiting the remaining eight days until my ultrasound is torture. Why this twenty week rule? It's ridiculous! Other people find out WAY earlier. Even my students are annoyed by this. They are counting down the days. The calendar at school says "Baby Day" on the 16th.
Luckily I have something else to look forward to that will occupy some of my time. On Sunday I'm going to the State Fair to watch the allstar cheerleading competition. Obviously this makes me crazy happy. Not only is it a day filled with cheerleading, but there's also a silly amount of food. Not just any food. Fair food. I think you all understand where I'm going with this. So, if I can just get through this week without strangling any kids or coworkers, a day of fattening food and fun awaits me!

Ps- Is anyone catching on to my post titles?

This Heart

So one of my fantastic friends (Emmie) let me borrow her at home doppler. Folks, let me just tell you this is the best invention ever. What did people ever do without these? Today I was freaking a little because I hadn't felt the baby move all day. Even though I know this is totally normal, I'm kind of a pessimist. Shocker right? Anyway, I was reminded by my brilliant friend that I can listen to my baby's heartbeat ANY TIME I WANT! It is still hard to hear and takes some time to find, but it was there! I have a feeling this may become a daily occurrence and possible addiction.

On a completely unrelated note, why are these kids on Glee wasting completely good slushies all the time? Now I want one. UGH!

The Age of Aquarius

So it's been decided that I am officially a "hippy". (John and Emmie are convinced the baby will be coming out with long hair and Birkenstocks, wearing an organic cotton onesie.)  I didn't exactly set out to be this way, it just kind of happened. I have reusable bags, I recycle, I started my own garden, which was all acceptable. Then a little while after John and I had begun trying to have a baby I switched to all natural cleaning products. Of course that led to switching all of my toiletries and makeup.  During my first pregnancy I started trying to eat as much fresh, all natural or organic food as our meager income will allow.  John now thinks I'm nuts. However, he is usually a good sport. Today we went to the farmers market at Wiregrass Mall not too far from our house. They have hydroponic, pesticide free produce. I was really excited about it because they only do it once a month. It's actually pretty big and there was a great selection. Even John was impressed! (Trust me, that doesn't happen often.) Bottom line, living this way makes me feel better about myself and my health. I mean if the rest of you want to fill your bodies with disgusting harmful chemicals it's totally cool, and I won't judge you for it. Especially not those of you throwing away all of your trash and filling our landfills with non-biodegradable crap. I mean it's fine if your kids don't have a nice planet to live on right? Nope, not judging, not judging at all. ;)

Ya'll Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind!

Let's be honest. I'm not exactly good at mincing words. I'm actually shocked that I still have a job. Or friends. Or a husband. Anyway,  today I bit my tongue and I'm rather proud of myself. However, this means I must now rant to you all. Apparently the people in charge of my school think we have no rights. Today we were told not to speak negatively about our jobs on Facebook. Um, I'm sorry, am I no longer an American citizen? Last time I checked there was some silly document that guaranteed me FREEDOM OF SPEECH! I am not stupid, I don't name names, I don't talk about students. But if I want to say something negative like, I AM SICK OF THIS JOB, I will damn well do it. And if they don't like it, they can try to fire me. I pay my Union dues for a reason. Ahhhh, all better.
So on a happy note, my little mini person is busy buzzing around in my belly. It is the coolest/weirdest feeling ever! The other day at work I sat down and sighed and a student asked what was wrong. One of the girls answered for me. "The baby's taking over her body!" HA!

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

I was recently inspired by a friend http://discoveringgrits.blogspot.com to start a blog. I've always wanted to, but never felt I had anything interesting to say. So what's different now? Well, for one I'm pregnant and therefore my entire life is about to change. Also, I'm older and wiser now.  Of course, that doesn't mean anyone will read this, but that's ok. I'm planning to use it as a journal. To remember my pregnancy, talk about being a new mom, chronicle trying to stay sane in this crazy world, and possibly to complain about stuff in general. Best case scenario, people I'm close to get to keep up with my life, as boring as it may be, and I get free therapy. Worst case, my friends disown me and I start getting hate mail. Either way, fun times.